How to create a small wedding guest list
The great thing about a micro wedding is the ability to connect and spend time with every person in attendance. The hard thing about a small wedding is coming up with the guest list. Read on for 5 easy steps to create a guest list that feels good, and fits your budget and your venue size.
1) Who to include on your small wedding guest list?
Start with the fam
Start with your must haves. For some couples, this means your immediate family. For others, your chosen family. However you define this group of people, they are the family that you simply CANNOT get married without them there with you.
Create one list of your immediate family, and one with your extended family, or create one list and sort them from must-have to nice to have at your wedding.
On to the crew
Next, create a list of your crew. Be sure to flag friends you both know and your own set of friends as well (this will come in handy in Step #4)
Lastly the friends
Finally, create a list of other friends you’d like to invite. This can include co-workers, childhood friends, school friends, and other people whom you would like to invite to your wedding.
Putting it all together
Start adding names to your final guest list, beginning with the fam. Now that you know how many invitations are left, agree on a fair way to divvy them up. Perhaps you each get to invite the same # of people or only people you both know get added to the list. However you decide, make sure it feels fair to both of you.
Next, start adding guests from the crew list and then the friends list until you’ve either filled all your wedding guest spots or until you feel that everyone who matters most to you is on your final guest list.
Pro Tip: Take a few days off from thinking about it, then come back to the list to see if there’s anyone that needs to be added or removed from the list.
Backup plans
Yay! You have your list! Now what? Time to send out invitations!!
But for the remaining people who unfortunately didn’t make the cut, your backup list? Don’t discount them right away. If your venue’s reception dinner requires you to pay upfront for a set # of seats regardless if they are filled, the remaining people can help.
Although in a perfect world, everyone you invite will be able to attend, realistically, not everyone will be able to, unfortunately. As people bow out, you can then invite others from your backup list.
2) Prepare for some feelings
In all reality, there may be some people whose feelings get hurt by your guest list. But know that you are never going to be able to please everyone, and since this is your wedding day, in my opinion, what you want trumps other people’s feelings, even if they are family.
In a perfect world, people would feel disappointed but ultimately be incredibly happy for you both.
Pro Tip: Check out these tips for how to tell your family you’re eloping. Though geared towards those having a just-us elopement experience, the advice applies to those having a micro/small wedding.
3) Additional ways for how to keep your wedding guest list small
Still struggling to get your guest list down to 50? Here are 3 ways to help you keep it small
A popular way to help you get there is to have an adults-only wedding. Again, perhaps some hurt feelings will ruffle some feathers, but ultimately, your guests will understand and will find a way to make it work.
Limit the number of “plus ones” you allow. For example, your best friend’s live-in partner probably should be invited. Your cousin’s boyfriend of 1 month, is worth thinking about.
Have a family-only ceremony. Then invite your crew to party with you well into the evening!
4) Set yourself up for success
When it comes to your small wedding guest list, keeping these front of mind will help keep the process as stress free as possible.
Send out save the dates
By sending out save the dates to your must haves, you will have a higher chance that everyone will be able to attend, making it easier to predict your final guest list count. Typically save the date cards are sent out 6 months to 1 year in advance, depending if most of your guests are local or will need to travel for your wedding.
Don’t have to invite everyone
I have 2 cousins in Mexico that I have met twice in my life. Even though they’re family, I didn’t invite them to my wedding, that was in Mexico.
There is no rule that says you HAVE to invite anyone. If you haven’t spoken to someone in over a year, don’t feel like you have to invite them. Remember, it is your day. Every person you invite should mean something to you and be more than just a casual acquaintance.
Take an all-or-nothing approach
If you have a big extended family or a big crew of friends, taking an all-or-nothing approach may be easier and help with sharing the news.
For example, either all your cousins are invited or none of them are invited. All the kids are coming or none of the kids are coming.
5) Keep it all on the DL
At the end of the day, it’s your decision who makes it onto your small wedding guest list. Your wedding list should feel good. It should make you feel excited. It should bring you joy.
And if it’ll help avoid future drama amongst your family or friends, keeping your guestlist private (ie so that no one else knows who’s invited or not), might be worth considering.
Find your wedding photographer who gets it
At the end of the day, it is your wedding day. If you want to invite 60 of your closest and call it a small wedding, do it! And if you’re looking for a wedding photographer who gets it and won’t be fussed between 50 guests or 60 guests, then I just might be your girl! Click the button below and let’s chat about your big day!!