How To Write A Wedding Speech
When it comes to wedding toasts, there are really no hard and fast rules that apply. And as a Vancouver wedding photographer who has photographed almost 100 weddings, I’ve found a few consistent themes across the board that make for great wedding toasts. A great wedding toast should leave your guests laughing, happy and ready to dance the night away with the couple.
But first…
What is a wedding speech?
Sometimes called a wedding toast, it has traditionally been something that happens during a reception given by those closest to the couple.
Who gives a wedding speech?
There are a few people who are typically asked to give toasts.
The father of the bride
The best man
The maid of honour
The father of the groom
The couple
Close family or friends
There’s no rule about who gives a speech, it really comes down to who you want to give a speech. Often wedding speeches are focused on the couple and the speaker’s relationship to the couple.
So what makes a good wedding speech?
3 Tips for Writing the BEST Wedding Speech
Short and sweet
Keeping your mic time under 5 mins leaves the guests (your audience) feeling good and ready to enjoy the night. I mean, let’s be real, people wanna celebrate and get to the dance party (if you’re having a big partay).
Know your audience
Everyone in attendance knows the couple differently. Some are family who has known the couple since childhood, some are coworkers, some are ride or dies, and some are new friends.
So while it might be tempting to share your personal inside joke that started 15 years ago, not everyone will get it and you’ll have instantly lost them. Keeping your stories easy to share, quick to tell, and entertaining for everyone in attendance will go a long way.
Write it down + practice
You’ve seen the movie The Wedding Ringer with Kevin Hart right? In one scene, he takes Josh Gad to a wedding where the best man rips up his speech and “speaks from the heart”. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what happens but for those who don’t, let’s just say, it did not go well. There was mention of Hilter, and a lot of “uhs” followed by cringe-worthy silences.
The takeaway - always write your speech and stick to your written speech. It will help keep you on time, avoid rambling, and ensure you don’t accidentally name-drop the wrong name.
Pro Tip: Your phone is the perfect place to keep your wedding speech but if you’re old school, be sure to print out 2 copies just in case.
3 Tips to plan your toasts in your timeline:
According to the Knot, the traditional order of speech givers is the father/parents of each partner, the maid of honour, followed by the best man. After that, the “floor is open” so to speak for any additional speakers, such as siblings, best friends, extended family, etc.
Depending on the number of wedding toasts, the timing of when they happen can be crucial, even if you are celebrating with only a few or having an intimate dinner of 25 guests. It can interrupt the flow of the evening or it can swim with it. Here are a couple of tips for when to plan the toasts into your wedding timeline so that everything runs smoothly.
Start the speeches after the couple has been served their meal. Not only will everyone be seated and present to hear the toast, but it also won’t cut into the evening festivities.
Have your toast givers record their speech in advance and put it together in a slideshow to share during your reception/meal
Pass the mic during cocktail hour to keep things casual and relaxed.
Pro Tips: Additional tips for how to plan your elopement timeline
Not Sure Where To Start Planning Your Elopement?
Download my free How to Elope guide! It’s perfect for small weddings, intimate weddings, and elopement weddings, and there are even some good tips in there for bigger weddings if that’s your jam.