5 Expert Tips on How to Tell Family You’re Eloping
A lot of couples look forward to telling their parents they’re eloping the same way you’d look forward to a root canal. It’s on the calendar. It’s happening. But no one’s happy about it!
If you’re struggling to figure out how to tell your family you’re eloping, I hope this post helps boost your confidence. If the fear of this conversation has you on the fence about eloping, I hope it adds a notch in the “Pro Elopement” column. And, at the VERY least, I hope it solves the “How the f*ck are we gonna tell the fam?!” dilemma.
Don’t Let The Fear Of Family Hold You Back!
For a lot of couples, telling the fam is the hardest part about the decision to elope. And, I get why! Especially if you’re close to your family, if you know weddings are important to them, or if you have a BIG family that would expect to be invited, not everyone will understand. In fact, telling the fam can be such a big hurdle that even couples who love the idea of an elopement sometimes chicken out and opt-in to a big wedding JUST to avoid the awkward conversation.
If you’re feeling like you might also wanna bail on your elopement out of fear, I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and repeat after me:
We’re eloping because it’s what’s right for us.
We’re eloping because it’s what WE want.
We are allowed to have the wedding of our dreams.
Remember, elopements are the bomb! They’re value-based. They’re intimate. They’re a choice you make for the two of you. I know that telling your family you’re eloping is hard, but I promise, it’s the ONE bad thing about the process. The rest is fun, adventure, and pure joy!
5 Tips for Telling Your Family You’re Eloping
As an elopement photographer, I’ve seen, heard, and documented it all. And because I’ve had a front-row seat to my fair share of elopements, I’ve learned a thing or two. Here are 5 elopement announcement etiquette tips that will make sharing your elopement news with your family members just a little easier. They’ll remove the guilt and let you jump into your elopement day with two super-enthusiastic feet!
#1 Pick The Right Moment
You have two options for when to tell them about your elopement announcement: before and after.
Having the conversation before you decide to elope (and in-person) takes courage and can be overwhelming. It might be hard, but it also might surprise you! You never know how people really feel until you talk to them face-to-face. Plus, being in-person allows you to fully explain your why and your reasoning. I’m sure your loved ones will support you no matter what, but if they’re struggling to understand your decision, this can help a lot.
And, okay, this might be an unpopular opinion... But if you’re not that close to your family or you’re just not that concerned about their reactions, let me be the first to tell you that it’s totally okay to make it a surprise and break the news after. Sometimes it’s just easier to ask for forgiveness than permission when you chose to elope!
#2 Prepare For Some Feels
Remember that ultimately, everyone who loves you will be SUPER happy for you. You’re getting married! That’s SUCH a positive thing. But, that doesn’t mean they won’t be a liiiiittle disappointed that they can’t share in the celebration with you. Just be prepared for the fact that even though they love you the most, and even though they will support you, they might be a little sad, too.
Remember: You’re not doing anything wrong and you don’t have to change your perfect day just to make them happy. Easier said than done, but you can totally stay strong.
#3 Include The Fam in a Small Way
If your close friends and family don’t want to be totally left out or you just don’t want to get married without seeing them at all, include them in a small way that feels good to you.
Instead of a true elopement, you could opt for an intimate wedding of up to 25 people. Or, still choose to elope solo, but end the day with an exclusive meal or happy hour with your closest family and friends.
#4 Throw An Epic Post-Elopement Party
If your crew is too big to narrow down to an under-25-person intimate wedding, or if you really want the day to be just the two of you but can’t imagine getting married without celebrating with your loved ones in some way… Why not send them a wedding announcement to an epic after-party or post-elopement party?
If you’re wondering how to announce an elopement wedding, include a little note like, “We’ll say ‘I Do’ then party with you!” and get to planning an amazing bash. This is also a perfect compromise if there’s a tiny part of you that would love to plan a bit of a party but you don’t want to commit to a full-blown wedding.
#5 Document The Crap Outta Your Day!
I know it sorta goes without saying... but find a photographer who gets you and fully understands the beauty of your elopement. Then, have them document the CRAP out of your day.
This way, when they see the photos, your family and friends will feel like they were right there with you. Together, we can make sure your loved ones don’t miss out on a single laugh, tear, or hug from your big day!
Related: 3 Reasons To Choose Full-Day Elopement Photography
Your Happiness > Everyone Else
Sorry, not sorry. This is YOUR day. It’s about the two of you celebrating your commitment to each other in the most YOU way possible. So let me be the first to say that it’s 100% okay to put your happiness as a couple first. Again, easier said than done. Totally. But, it is doable, and I want you to remember that the way you tie the knot is not even a little bit bad or wrong.
I know figuring out how to tell your family you’re eloping is tough. But try to hold on to your vision for the wedding day of your dreams. A special day just the two of you. A sunrise hike or a sunset on the beach. A simple ceremony. A beautiful dress. All the feels. None of the stress.
You sooo deserve this day.
Easygoing Elopement Photographer, At Your Service!
If you’re planning to elope and still need to find the right photographer for you, drop me a line. We’ll grab a bevvy, chat about your perfect day together, and I’ll even help you plan. I can’t wait to hear what you’ve been daydreaming about!